Long Lake NY announces a “humongo” federally privatized grant with untraceable paperwork for the expansion of the Mt. Sabattis Recreation Center, the Pavilion, Ice Skating Rink, the site of the old highway garage and some parts of New York State Forest Preserve Lands. The grant will provide funds to build an indoor pool, install a chairlift and a fire tower, a 100 room luxury hotel with spa facilities to be leased and operated by an unknown, not-named entity who may be the President and some other surprises including robotic bears that will be available for viewing at the Long Lake Transfer station. In addition there will be the purchase of a Zamboni machine and snow making equipment to line all the snowmobile trails to extend snowmobile season to a year-round activity.
Plans to submit a plan to state agencies by an anonymous benefactor were announced today at a press conference at the Long Lake Town Beach. Architects and community developers unveiled architectural designs for a solar powered chairlift, under 40 feet high, to be installed from the eastern shore of Long Lake to the top of Kempshall Mountain. A fire tower will also be installed so anyone who gets to the top can actually see the lake. This new controversial plan to install the chairlift and replace the fire tower was the brain child of an avid hiker who accidentally climbed Kempshall to discover there was no view.
Map of Kempshall Mountain located on Long Lake. Plans to install a chairlift in talks as hiking up this mountain is an exercise in futility as there is “no view”
Two Million Dollar Treasure Hunt
All seasonally closed hotels, motels and businesses will be open for the Great Adirondack Treasure Hunt increasing the total beds available in Long Lake from 40 to 60 with an anticipated increase to economic activity in the community by 300%.
A benefactor recently donated two million dollars and buried it somewhere in the Hamlet of Long Lake inside a leather valise. Modeled after the popular Road Rally and Scavenger Hunts held by Parks and Recreation, this timed race will include clues and physical challenges leading the participants to the hidden valise containing the two million dollars in unmarked bills. This Scavenger Hunt activity will involve boating, hiking, snowmobiling, micro-spiking, fishing, snipe hunting, rock climbing and fat tire bikes. Contestants will have to identify all UMP’s the Town of Long Lake is listed in, and recite in alphabetical order and know all the recreational activities allowed in each designated area before getting to the final level of the competition. Participants also need to know the difference between Primitive, Wild Forest, Wilderness, Canoe, Intensive Use, Wild, Scenic and Recreational Rivers, Travel Corridors, Historic, State Administrative Detached Forest Preserve and other land classifications to get to the next level of the competition.
In other news.. it’s snowed again.
Good luck to everyone.
April Fools Day.
This piece was written by Alexandra Roalsvig, the Director of Parks, Recreation and Tourism for Long Lake for ten amazing years. Alex moved back to her hometown of Long Lake 10 years ago today (April Fools Day) so she’d never ever forget the date. In her 10 years as Director she’s overseen a lot of stuff and written a lot of blogs and taken a lot of videos and photos and filled out a lot of paperwork, so much that you’d have to ask her about the specifics, because it’s too much to list here.